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Eye Contact That Unlocks Power
Synchronizing. Tantric. Healing. Transcendent. Energizing.
Even eye contact can be controversial.
Let me explain. My first lengthy conversations about eye contact was in a meeting about goal setting for a student with autism more than a decade ago. The debate was led by the speech pathologist and test evaluator and the student was present. Back then, I was unfamiliar with the pragmatics of eye contact, so I found the discussion interesting and very informative. Quite honestly, I understood the benefits, and I was in agreement with the professional purpose. Now, if you are a parent or spend any significant time with youth, you can read their silence. So, in the middle of the conversation, I turned to the student and asked, how does eye contact make you feel?
Without looking at me, she simply said “Weird. I don’t like it. But I can hear you just fine.”
This was a mesmerizing exchange to me for two reasons:
- Why did she correlate eye contact with hearing?
- Why was “weird” the adjective of choice?
Using my well developed overthinking muscles, I followed a rabbit hole of untangling what eye contact can do for communication. I very much wanted to become the kind of teacher that stood behind a student’s choice to self advocate. I don’t want something as personal as eye contact to become enforceable. They ought to have the choice to stare back into someone’s eyes if they want to. My first steps… I needed to decide what significance it really held aside from “paying attention”. Which, for the record, is poor proof in my opinion.
Weird, But I Feel You
Eye contact can be a powerful way to spiritually connect with people, as it can help convey emotions, intentions, and understanding on a deeper level. No matter where you go, there is a general consensus that the eyes can convey so much. Looking into another person’s eyes can leave you with a myriad of feelings or allow you to translate theirs. Perhaps, in a mystifying or supernatural way. I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that this is not altruistic, there can be times where nothing can be found in the eyes looking back at you. We often hear that referred to as having no “connection”.
