Eye Contact That Unlocks Power
Synchronizing. Tantric. Healing. Transcendent. Energizing.
Even eye contact can be controversial.
Let me explain. My first lengthy conversations about eye contact was in a meeting about goal setting for a student with autism more than a decade ago. The debate was led by the speech pathologist and test evaluator and the student was present. Back then, I was unfamiliar with the pragmatics of eye contact, so I found the discussion interesting and very informative. Quite honestly, I understood the benefits, and I was in agreement with the professional purpose. Now, if you are a parent or spend any significant time with youth, you can read their silence. So, in the middle of the conversation, I turned to the student and asked, how does eye contact make you feel?
Without looking at me, she simply said “Weird. I don’t like it. But I can hear you just fine.”
This was a mesmerizing exchange to me for two reasons:
- Why did she correlate eye contact with hearing?
- Why was “weird” the adjective of choice?
Using my well developed overthinking muscles, I followed a rabbit hole of untangling what eye contact can do for communication. I very much wanted to become the kind of teacher that stood behind a student’s choice…
